CHERN

The Look of A Free Man.

2009-01-25T23:32:00.005+08:00

Freedom... Once you taste it, there's no turning back...

As Uncle Ho once said...

'Khong co gi quy hon DOC LAP TU DO'

'Nothing is more important than INDEPENDENCE and FREEDOM'

Freedom... Have you tasted it?

22 and Counting...

2007-08-24T03:27:00.000+08:00

So... I turned 22 early this month... It all seems so surreal... It feels that a chapter of your life has just ended. The days of merry-making and careless laughter... The times where you only have yourself to take care of and the option of your parents bailing you out of any trouble you get yourself into... I'm afraid these days would have to be put aside now...

The longer we exist on this earth, the heavier the load we carry on our shoulders. With age comes responsibility... If you screw things up, no one to blame but yourself. Freedom comes with a price my friend... It feels harder to do things based on passion nowadays... Follow your heart, let it tell you where to go and what to do... That used to be second nature...

Now, thoughts come with strings attached to them. Do this? What would the consequences? What would this person feel or that person think? Will doing this affect my grades? This is too risky, I have to take care of my health... You are a medical student, surely you know this's harmful to you?! What about finances? Who's gonna give you the bloody cash? No ones going to print money for you to burn mate. The older you grow, the wiser you get? Hmmm, the older you grow, the worrier you get sounds more realistic.

Why do we grow more cautious the older we get? Sounds like a stupid question I hear you say... Well, I don't know the answer my friends. Seems like more is at stake now than when we were younger. No room for mistakes mate. One wrong move, one step out of line and you're done for it. The higher we climb the harder we fall I suppose. So we climb cautiously... But can we see where we are climbing to and what we are climbing for?

Friends, especially, female ones have entered the workforce. Unbelieveable. It was only yesterday that they were dressed in prim and proper school dresses. Now, corporate demands and image rule the way they dress. Comfy sports shoes replaced with pointy high heels. In a few more years, it will come to the guys' turn.

Things change when people go to work. Everything seems to be geared towards work... Sleep late? Cannot, got work tomorrow. Play football on sat? Cannot, got to do OT. Come out for dinner on a weekday night? Cannot, got a report to prepare. People run on a tight, organised schedule when they join the workforce. Why is it like this? I don't know, I guess it's just the way things are in the working world. And when you enter, you either conform or be condemed. Are humans meant to live like this?

Rats you say? Running in the rat race? What are the prizes at the end of the race? A pat on the back by the boss? A hefty pay rise? An irresitible promotion? How much do you care about all this?

Thoughts.... They change like the number of candles you place on your birthday cake. The growing number of candles brighten up the room but they also show the vast corners of darkness in existence. Cynism grows on you in tandem with maturity. Optimism gives way to caution then to persimmism and reluctant acceptance and conforming to the status quo.
Play, fun, laughter.... These used to fill our time and our hearts, our minds, our souls. Work, money, sleep... These now seem to be a constant worry at the foremost and backmost of our minds, taking away our souls, dampening our minds and occupying all of our time.

What does the future holds then? Succumb to this relentless torrent of pressure to conform and further entrench the status quo? Join in the long, cold and numbing climb to the top that never seem to be in sight?

Don't, my friends... Say no to this temptation to join in the production line of robots that is being churned out endlessly. Set your own path. Remember the days when you were younger and saw the world through untinted glasses? What happened to them? It's time to wipe away the dust and dirt that has accumulated on our glasses with time.

It seems funny that the older we grow, the more we tend to look back at our past and reminisce about the good old days. Is the future that bleak that we have to look for comforts from the past? Hmmm, I don't know again but I'm sure guilty of this habit as well.

What are the things you look forward to nowadays? Do they outnumber the things you dread waking up to? Or are they being outnumbered? Do you wake up with a sigh or with an eager anticipation for the day to start?

Questions. Thoughts. Actions?

Food For Thought...

2007-05-16T23:36:00.000+08:00

You may fool the world down the pathway of life

and get pats on your back as you pass,

But your final reward will be heartaches and tears

if you have cheated the man in the glass.

Dale Wimbrow

3 Years On...

2007-04-23T00:45:00.000+08:00

23 April ...
A date carved on the back of the ring...
A date to mark the distance the journey had taken...

3 years on and it is still going strong...
Keep believing and things will never go wrong...

Memories there are aplenty...
Filled with highs, lows and the more ordinary...
Every bit cherished dearly...

Lets hold on tightly...
And continue to embrace the past, the present, and the future...

The faith stands,
unwavering in the wind...
Come what may...
Two hearts will always be one.

A Glimpse into the World Underneath Us

2007-04-06T14:04:00.000+08:00

'Sir, wo de tong xi leh? What if someone took them liao? then how? The other time I came out, wo de tong xi all kena stolen leh! Then I asked encik for help but in the end also nothing...' the boyish looking inmate, with a clean shaven head and dragons and phoenixes dancing around his body or what is affectionately known as ang gong, blurted out.

I was stumped for a moment, not knowing what to say to calm his anxieties. All I could offer was a pair of attentive ears. This was not the only occasion where I was lost for words in the time that I had spent in the interview room.

Snippets of the lives of the inmates that I interviewed were sufficient to amaze me. Parents divorced; Dad ran away with another woman; Mum left to shoulder the burden of the family; Got involved in the wrong company; Joined gangs; Had animals and chinese characters drawn on body; Dropped out of school to work to help out with the family expenses; Got girlfriend pregnant; Some kept the child and married the girl; Others decided to end it prematurely...

How do you react when you hear of these stories? These stories were from a world so foreign. A world that I had not had any contact with before I entered the army. Sheltered in a world where the pursuits of of academic excellence, fame and fortune dictated the lives of everyone, I was ignorant of the harsh realities that faced the people living in the lower rungs of society.

That was until I joined the infantry, as a commander. Here, majority of the men came from rough, humble backgrounds. Being conscripted into the army at the tender age of 18 brought another challenge to their lives. No longer could they work to contribute to the family's income. The meagre allowances given by the army would prove to be largely insufficient. No longer could they enjoy the company of their buddies and girlfriends or tend to their newly formed families. The ideals of patriotism and of defending the country that belonged to them were far-fetched and alien. Survival was the only thing on their minds.

The majority of the men took this new challenge on their chins and quickly adapted to the rules and orders of life in the service. Credit to these men, for life in the army for them was largely harsh and monotonous, with few, if any, rewards at all. A few, unfortunately, fell by the wayside. These men broke rules in their barracks, designated homes for their period of service in the army, to tend to problems that erupted in their real homes; homes that they would eventually return to no matter how tattered and torn... Some were lucky for they had understanding commanders who turned a blind eye to their excursions that broke the rules and regulations cast in stone. The less fortunate ones were severely punished for their rule-breaking behaviour. Some were sent to the detention barracks, the so called prison for military personnel.

And this was the place that I had to visit on the resumption of my military service during the last month of my university holidays. I was to interview the men from my unit who were detained in this place as a show of concern; an act that was supposed to say to them: you have not been forgotten.

Alas, reality lives in a different world from idealism. Listening to anecdotes from the men, I chuckled as some recounted how they were made to wait for a vehicle to pick them up on the day of release during their previous stay in the detention barracks. Apparently, no one had remembered that they were to be returning. Of all the men that I interviewed, majority were in there for going AWOL, or Absent Without Official Leave. Of these, many were there not for the first time. On their previous release, the men had difficulties intergrating back into their unit as their comrades had moved on without them and their commanders often gave them cold or little support, imposing on them strict restrictions to adhere to. Besides, their problems at home were not settled yet and soon, they were back on their excursions again. Many wanted to escape to find a job so that they could contribute to repaying the debts that were mounting at home. Most ended up in illicit jobs that paid well but offered little security. For some, wife and baby were waiting to be fed at home; For others, Mums and siblings were awaiting assistance at home; How could they not answer the call of duty? But answering that call would mean that the call of duty to their country would have to be disrupted. And that would mean serious consequences.

Financial assistance schemes are available for the men but the criteria are so strict that it is difficult for most of them to fall within the requirements. Even if they were poor enough to fall within the criteria, the enormous waiting time for all the red tape to be cut would prove to be another giant obstacle. By the time assistance was rendered, much damage would already have been done.

I always had a soft spot for these people. There is hardly anything in their lives that they could look forward to. Indeed the future looks bleak for them. With only a secondary school education, the types of jobs that they could apply for are few and far between. Competition with cheaper foreign workers would drive them further down the pecking order. How are they going to survive in the future, let alone start and keep a family going? Do they even know what a family means, having come from broken and empty homes?

I wanted to do something for them. But my hands were tied. Tied by the strict regulations in the service; tied by the limitations of my appointment and rank; tied by the restrictions of realities... All I could do was to provide a listening ear, and jot down their grievances on a sheet of paper. Hopefully, one day, someone can pick it up to read and do something to improve the lives of these men... These men who live in a world so close yet so far away from the world that the rest of us belong to...

2007-04-01T17:15:00.000+08:00

The Kallang Wave Theatrical Trailer

Fans of local football, this is one film you don't want to miss! Catch it at Cathay when it's released, I think around mid-april... Do hope that the mass media will continue to have more productions on local football. More publicity is needed to take it up to the next level and eventually achieve our dream on the world stage.

Life's Little Ironies

2007-04-01T03:17:00.000+08:00

'What?! You're going back to KL? Are you a bloody fool or what?!' these words rang loud and clear in my head. It wasn't just him that said it. It seemed that the whole world was mouthing the same words in perfect cohesion. But all I could think of was ' Why not?'

I was set on making the switch. For reasons that my head and heart were well aware of. It seemed that proximity to my love one, friends and family was the ultimate factor that drove me back. I didn't want to miss out on the family functions and the weekly gatherings with my marist brothers. And of course I didn't want my little princess to be left all alone again. Once you lose these young, golden years of your life, you would never get them back again. I don't want to look back at my younger days in the future, when I'm old and haggard, with a tinge of regret at not spending enough time with the people who mean the world to me. Somethings, you've to admit, can only be done when you're young and carefree. And I wanted to make sure that I seized all opportunities that came by my way.

My heart gave a good account of itself. However, it was not the only one speaking. Only half the story was told.

My head said that it would be a good option as well and continued...

For one, I would save my parents a substantial amount of money. Although they insist that money is not an issue with them, I still feel better knowing that they have more cash at their disposal to spend. Ma and Pa have been working hard a good part of their lives and it is time that they start to relax and enjoy life's pleasures. A little bit of spare cash would certainly come in handy. Next, I don't need to elaborate on the countless similarities that Malaysia and Singapore share in terms of their population, climate and the prevalence of diseases. That would give me a sneak preview of the experience that I would have in the future. The cohort size in Malaysia is also much smaller, allowing greater flexibility and attention given to the students. Lectures would be more intimate and interaction between students and lecturer can flow freely. Tutorials would be more enjoyable as you know everyone in the group. I would also have the opportunity to learn Bahasa Melayu. At least when the abangs and mak ciks communicate in their mother tongue back home, I wouldn't be scratching my head cluelessly. Quality would not be compromised as well. If the AMC is willing to put it's reputation on the chopping block and give the course the honour of being the 1st overseas-accreditated medical degree, things shouldn't go too wrong.

My stomach also chipped in with it's 2 cents' worth. Food glorious food! Cheap and good food would be a luxury that I can enjoy. Not to mention that it is avaible 24 hours a day with the mamak shop just a short walk away.

Indeed, it seemed like a perfect option.

Just that 3 things stood in the way. The fact that I was on the wrong continent. The fact that the Malaysian degree has not been recognised by Singapore yet and that the 2 countries have enjoyed a love-hate relationship with each other. The fact that the whole wide world, lest my love one, disagreed with me.

Still, you only live life once so you'd better go all out to get what you want and believe in. Even if you're against the flow.

The accreditation issue was very much in my mind. But there's still a way out. A review will be made again at the end of the year regarding SMC's decision and I will have options opened up for me to take again. That would be a time to sit down and think again.

My head was set. My heart was fixed. My stomach was growling. Pa and Ma reluctantly gave their support. Friends expressed astonishment first, and well-wishes later.

Days after, arrangements were made. I would be in KL to embark on the second week of school.

What a week that was. Singapore to Melbourne to Singapore to KL. A merry-go-round. One of life's little ironies perhaps?

A little irony with a happy ending.

The Return of the Boy

2007-01-07T18:49:00.000+08:00

3 years had passed since the Boy last stepped foot on the land of pho. During this period, he often reminisced about the magical experience he had in his previous visit. The Boy had long wanted to return to this land where hidden charms abound but the chance slipped by year after year as he was distracted with the duty of serving his nation and the demands of fulfilling his ambitions to be a doctor.

It had been an eventful 3 years ever since the Boy left the land of pho. The initial spark between the Boy and his Little Princess had surged into a huge ball of flames. Things were not as pretty and rosy as in all fairy tales though. This was a different fairy tale. It was a fairy tale in reality. The boy and his Little Princess were living out their fairy tale love story. And reality sometimes bites. It bit the Little Princess and she was hurt for a while. The Boy had made mistakes that were unforgivable. It tested the strength and the faith that the Little Princess had in this fairy tale love and she emerged victorious, with a few battle scars to show for her efforts. With her amazing strength and faith, the Little Princess forgave the Boy’s unforgivable mistakes and the flame between the two continued to shine brightly.

The Boy was ashamed of himself. Ashamed that he had caused so much hurt to the Girl that he loved so much. It was a great moment of folly. Hindsight taught the Boy to realize how unfair he had been to the Little Princess. He was grateful that the Little Princess had been magnanimous enough to accept his mistakes. The Boy promised himself not to hurt the Little Princess anymore. It was a promise that the Boy made with all his heart. Enough unhappiness had been created. No more time could be spared to unhappiness and hurt. Now, all that matters to the Boy was the Little Princess’s happiness.

Distance proved to be a persistent and intimidating challenge to the Boy’s promise. The Boy had to leave for another land hidden deep in the corner of the Earth to pursue his medical ambitions. It was a tough choice for the Boy to make. The thought of leaving his dear 1 constantly haunted him. In the midst of all these, the understanding displayed by the Little Princess was exceptional and it made the choice an easier one. Though distance was a challenge not to be taken lightly, the faith of the Boy and the Little Princess in their fairy tale love story was able to conquer all obstacles in sight. Though the Little Princess and the Boy had the fortune of being surrounded by loyal friends in each other’s absence, the desire of falling back into each other’s arms constantly emerged in their stream of thoughts. The Boy clutched tightly onto these thoughts. It was these thoughts that accompanied him throughout the cold, dark and lonely nights.

Amid the hustle and bustle of his academic pursuits, the Boy stumbled upon a queer looking box in his room one night. Curiosity persuaded the Boy to take a peek into the box and he did so, carefully and slowly. As the lid of the box opened, a brilliant flash shone from inside. The Boy was taken aback. It took him a few moments before he could gather his senses again. Peering into the box, he saw a film being played in the box, right before his very eyes. The Boy strained his eyes to have another look. It was unbelievable. The Boy was inside the film, together with his Little Princess and both of them appeared to be much older than they are now. It showed them living together. It was a peek into the future. The Boy was intrigued. He stayed glued to the inside of the box. As the film progressed, the Boy grew visibly shaken. Something in the film had touched him. Tears began to slowly stream down his face. Then, as quickly as it had started, the lid of the box slammed shut and silence took centre-stage.

The Boy was whirled up in a pool of emotions and thoughts. The box had transported him into his future. A future he did not desire. The Boy was determined not to let things happen as they did in the box. He was enlightened. And his love for the Little Princess grew ever stronger. The Boy remembered about the promise he had made. And he held it tightly to his heart, never wanting to let go.

As the Boy stepped off the plane, the familiar sights and sounds hit him in the face. It was a sight that had welcomed him 3 years ago and it was now opening its arms to him once again. The Boy was keen to revisit the places where the first sparks of love were created and see the people that he had met previously. It had been a long wait. Too long a wait, in fact. The Boy clutched the Little Princess’s hand tight. And strode off into the land where the seeds of this intriguing love were planted 3 years ago…

2006-10-28T07:21:00.000+08:00

Tak Giu

Somehow, some of the scenes look familiar. =P Ai Tak Giu Mai? Enjoy.

2006-09-21T14:10:00.000+08:00

Friends & Loved 1s back home! MAke sure you watch this!

Got to know this film through Mr Brown's blog. Looks like a superb film! Think it's about the life of a middle-class family in Spore. Hope it's still running when I go back. I just love Made-In-Spore movies!

University Life...

2006-09-12T17:36:00.000+08:00

' You know, I used to graduate from Monash University, years ago.'

I did a double-take. Making sure that my ears were not hearing things, I asked him,

' Monash? You mean Monash University?'

' Yes. And I got a Humanities degree and then did my Masters here.'

Wow. And now he is the cleaner of my hall.

As I talked to him longer, I found out that he actually worked as a teacher after graduating and had been teaching all along until he lost his job recently.

He could only manage to find this present job and took it with much discontent, as you would imagine.

There are many inferences that you can make from this situation. Economy not doing well? Government not doing it's job? Maybe this fella didn't try hard enough?

Whatever it was, I didn't think along those lines. Rather, I was thinking about why do we go to university at all, weird as it may sound. Do we do that, wanting to get a better job with a degree in our hands? Or do we do it because of our desire to study, to improve our knowledge, to further our passion for a particular field of study? Or do we do that because all our friends are going there as well and we would be left out or slip down in the life race that we all participate in?

Well, I don't have any statistics to back me up. But I guess most of us are really in it for pragmatic reasons. Get a good degree; get a good job; get a good life and live happily ever after.

But how often does that happen? I'm not sure. But it doesn't seem to happen very often with all the discontent and complaints that seem to emerge all around us.

So in the quest to pass your exams and to rush to hand in your assignments and projects, do take some time to wonder about what your future might be.

And to enjoy your time as well.

Enjoy the process of expanding your knowledge and overcoming the academic challenges that university life throws at us. Amaze at the extent of human knowledge and marvel at the wonders of the workings of our world. Embrace the bonds and companionship of your friends.

Just do your very best to have a good, positive time in university.

Hmmm, to many, it may sound impossible, a fairytale dream perhaps? But think of things in another perspective and look at things from another angle and it may just be possible.

Don't be lost in the never-ending struggles to study for the sake of passing exams. Working your heads off to get the best scores for your assignments and projects. These are important but they should not be taking over your life. There's much more to it than that.

I hope, few years down the road, you won't graduate from university with this thought:

Phew! I'm done with all these exams and assignments! No more of these to worry about! No more burning the mid-night oil! No more mugging! No more! No more! Yeah!

That would be a very sad outcome indeed.

2006-09-05T20:49:00.000+08:00

Ho Eh Hiah Di

This one's for all my Hiah Dis out there!

Pausing For a Reflection

2006-08-28T22:19:00.000+08:00

My mid-semester exam is 2 days away from today.

As I was burying my head in my books, I found myself cursing and swearing.
KNN! What the hell?! How many names, structures, theories, rules, mechanisms (and the list goes on...) must I stuff into my head.

Then, I paused to get a drink from the kitchen. And a moment of reflection came upon me.

I remembered cursing and swearing to myself before. But there was a stark difference then. Then I was covered in camo, wearing a green set of uniform unwashed for 2 days and with a pitiful amount of sleep. That was then.

I took a sip from the cup of tea.

Thank goodness.

Why am I cursing and swearing to myself for?

I went back to my books with a lighter head and in brighter spirits.
Count your blessings Chern. Don't be a fool.

A PICTURE TO CHASE THE BLUES AWAY...

2006-08-28T22:14:00.000+08:00

8 DEADLY SINS

2006-08-28T20:04:00.000+08:00

1) Knowledge without Character

2) Pleasure without Conscience

3) Science without Humanity

4) Commerce without Morality

5) Politics without Principles

6) Religion without Sacrifice

7) Wealth without Work

And the DEADLIEST of all,

8) Life without Love

Are you guilty of anyone of them?

Back in Melbourne

2006-07-20T22:03:00.000+08:00

My most sincere apologies for the long absence. I was too pre-occupied with meeting up with my family and old friends and spending quality time with my little princess that blogging was thrown to the sidelines.

Now that I'm back in cold and gloomy Melbourne, I guess the urge to blog and to jot down my thoughts has resurfaced once again.

The trip back home was well-timed and much needed. After dealing with the challenges of adapting to a foreign land and tuning my mind back to the intellectual mode, I was looking forward to returning to my little island of comforts. Where, as the national day songs go, my friends, family and love one (you-know-who) wait for me...

It is only when you are alone overseas that you learn to appreciate your closest friends, family and of course the one I love. Having them by your side just make you take them for granted. Which is definitely not the right way to go. Cherish the ones closest to you... They won't be there forever so make the best of the times you spend with them.

I am really glad that I have a close group of friends that have known me since my Marist days, and some since my TJ days. Weide, Alvin, WeiWei, Rayner, EeYang and the rest of the Marist gang; Edwin, Siu, Bingde from (chao!) AHS... These people have become an indispensable part of my life. We share a common frequency, a common love for football, and other special qualities that somehow make the bonds we have special in more ways than one. I can open up to these people without fear of being judged or ridiculed or having to put up a polite or diplomatic front. We have been through many years and did numerous things together... Stuff that we would sometimes bring up and laugh heartily about... That type of unrestrained, hearty laughter is hard to get elsewhere.

I don't know whether things will change once all of us go to university. New friends we will definitely make, new habits we will definitely take, new ambitions we will certainly chase. But will our bonds remain? I really do hope so... I do not know if the rest of the guys have similar thoughts but I cannot imagine life without these people. We are friends and have been friends through thick and thin. We help one another not just because we expect a favour in return or we're trying to impress people or raise any agendas. We do so because we share a common bond. And brothers should help one another without question or motive. Am I the only one who thinks like this? I hope not.

Am I being over-dramatic here? Maybe... But these words are from the bottom of my heart. I have met friends who changed their environment so frequently that they don't have a core group of friends that they can confide in. I pity them. And I count my own blessings at the same time.

Together with my little princess and my family, these guys form the core of my life. A rock; a foundation that keeps me going in difficult times.

Thank you guys. Thank you for all the memories and may there be many more to come.

Playing in a Foreign Place

2006-04-29T18:18:00.000+08:00

Last sunday was the 1st time I played a match for Monash University Soccer Club. Just before you say: Wah! So zai ah! can play for school! Hold your compliments. The soccer club actually has a number of teams, 5 to be exact. And they rank from the most zai to the most chapalang 1.
So i'm actually playing for the 4ths or the 5ths(depending on which team has a lack of players), which are the chapalang teams.

Anyway, the match was an away 1 so we had to travel to the other side of Melbounre. It took me a good 1hour plus before I reached the place. On my way to the pitch, I encountered something familiar. The Marist emblem. I was intrigued. In the end, it turned out to be a college founded by the same founder of Maris Stella back home, St Marcellin Champagnat. The college is named after him - Marcellin College. Took a stroll around the compound of the school and found it to be strikingly similar to MSHS. This sudden and unexpected discovery brought back a surge of nostalgia. How I miss playing with the Marist people in McLucky! We may be chapalang but we sure had fun!

Back to the match... I was allocated the position of centre-back by the coach, ironically a Singaporean who supports Liverpool. It has been a long time since I played that position and I took awhile to get back my defender's instinct. The match started with a welcome bang given to me by the opposing striker. I was chasing to clear a loose ball with the striker, a big fat-ass (bigger than Siu's!) bearing down on me. I got my foot to the ball and the next thing I knew I was flying through the air! What a welcome!

The 1 big difference with the game over here is that it is much more physical. So Kenny's wise old advice of 'use your body!' must always be taken seriously. As the game flowed on, with us having the upper hand most of the times, we took the lead through a deflected goal off a shot by 1 of the midfielders. Half-time ended as that - 1-nil to us.

In the second half, we started more brightly and scored a second. 2-nil and we looked to be cruising. Unfortunately, we conceded a goal with 20min to go with the defence failing to cut off a cross from the wing. This left us with a nervy ending but we managed to pull through and grab a precious victory.

I was satisfied by my own game but there is definitely much more room for improvement. My partner in defence seems to be a much more experienced lao jiao. Someone in the mould of Gareth Southgate. And there are many things to be learnt from him.

my foreign team mates in Monash Uni Soccer Club 4ths and 5ths

I am glad to be playing matches again... At least it reduces the itch in my feet. But somehow it is just not the same as playing with my Mc Lucky team mates. How I miss those weekends! Cannot wait to get back to the pitch with you all...

Choosing Our Leaders

2006-04-29T00:34:00.000+08:00

Once again, the time has come to choose the people who will lead Singapore for the next five years.

As the whole world probably knows, there will not be any surprises in general, with the PAP surely forming the government at the end of the elections.

As groups of Singaporeans lament about the lack of excitability and variety evident in the local political scene, we must keep 1 eye cast around the world to realize that perhaps we may be taking things for granted in our homeland.

Right at our doorstep in Malaysia, the deputy prime minister at that time, Anwar Ibrahim was charged with sodomy crimes and thrown behind bars with a black eye to accompanying him.

In Indonesia, the last few years have seen a quick succession of presidents come and go. Each 1 brings with them their own agenda and action plans. But without sufficient time and support, even the best plans will not translate into any results.

Out of SE Asia, in the middle east, there is a lack of credible leaders to take over from the regime that Saddam Hussein perpetuated and lead the once great nation out of the crisis they now face.

Even in USA, scandals after scandals continue to emerge from politicians in charge of the only super power of the world now. Politics is a much more complicated game over there.

Sure, the political news from these countries make for excellent news headlines. But politicians are not movie stars. They are leaders who are expected to fight for the best for their people and to govern the country to give the people the best opportunity to live a better life.

I am glad that the political scene back home has not degraded into a sleazy world of scandals, name-callings and unscrulpulous sabotages. In contrast, the debates that emerged generally revolves around bread and butter issues as well as the ever-present calls for the government to be more democratic.

Bread and butter issues have always been emphasized by the ruling party PAP. Their track record (a pet phrase of the party) has been outstanding, giving them much credit to claim. Occasionally, the opposition parties will pick on a few downsides of the economy, the education and the healthcare system and pick the finger back at the PAP. They tell the people - See the PAP has let you down, and then stop at that. Hardly any alternatives or solutions are offered by them.

On calls for more democracy in Singapore, the opposition voices have been the loudest. From Dr Chee to JB Jeyaratnam to Low Thia Khiang to Chiam See Tong, issues of democracy have been vigorously campaigned and put across to the people. It is interesting to note the former 2 has been the louder of the lot on the topic of democracy. And look at what they have got themselves into. Both are bankrupts and on the brink of political extinction. Dr Chee had taken part in the last few elections and has lost all of them, suffering humiliating defeats in the process. In the 1996 election, he actually fainted after losing to a PAP candidate in the single-member constituency of MacPherson. Talk about showmanship. To make matters worse, Dr Chee yelled and hurled abuses at then PM Goh during a walkabout in the 2001 election, potraying himself, in the words of MM Lee, as a hooligan politician. Once again, Dr Chee's SDP team was soundly trounced in Jurong GRC.
In contrast, Low Thia Khaing and Chiam See Tong have maintained their focus on normal daily issues that concern the average Singaporeans. Both have kept their seats in parliament and the support of the voters.

1 wonders - Is Dr Chee and JB Jeyaratnam barking up the wrong tree? Are Singaporeans concerned or even care about the issues that these 2 bring up about democracy in Singapore?

Let me give my 1 cent worth... I think ideals of democracy appeal only to the younger generation of Singaporeans. And this appeal is only applicable to educated young Singaporeans who have been leading a rather comfortable life so far, ie in other words the more well-off strata of the society. As for our parents' genearations and their parents' generations, as well as the people in the lower classes of the society, I think this appeal is totally non-existent at all. Bread and butter issues are the main concerns of these group of people and their votes are won on the basis on this issue.

Before the PAP came into power, Singaporeans did not have any bread and butter to talk about. Under it's governance, Singapore developed rapidly and steadily and moved from 3rd world to 1st. The older generation of Singaporeans will never forget this and will remain staunch PAP supporters.

The younger generation ,on the other hand, has lived in economic prosperity for the whole of their lives and tend to take things for granted. Attractive ideals like democracy will appeal to these people.

Simply put, people with their stomachs empty and without a roof over their head will not be interested in democracy ideals while people with no worries about when their next meal will come and have a comfortable home to live in will be.

Anyway, why is there a debate about democracy in Singapore? I thought we are a democratic country? Isn't the virtue of democracy mentioned in the pledge we say every morning in school?

Well, it seems that the very notion of democracy is not very well defined. In fact, it's such a broad concept that different interpretions of it will lead to very different outcomes.

Just what is Dr Chee talking about when he argues for democracy? Freedom of speech? The ability to say anything you want without worrying about the consequences? The type of democracy in Taiwan maybe? There is much greaterl freedom of speech over there and look at the state of their political scene.

Freedom of choice? The choice of choosing another party to lead Singapore? Apart from the PAP, who else is there to turn to? SDP? SDA? Workers' Party? They don't even have enough candidates to challenge for all the seats in parliament. Thanks but no thanks.

I think democracy is very much alive in Singapore. We are a democratic society not only in name but in practice as well. A great extent of freedom is available to all Singaporeans as long as we stay in line with the laws set. Do what you want. Be who you want to be. Just stay on the right side of the law and no one will bother you. Say what you think. As long as it is not a pack of lies or wild and harmful accusations that are baseless, you will be fine. Not happy with the government? Express your views. Tell your side of the story. You will not get into trouble. Want to run for election? Just get a deposit of $13-14000 and a few supporters and you can do so as an independent. Now, fancy doing that in democratic America. You will need millions of dollars there. Not to mention overcoming numerous other barriers to entry into the political scene.

Freedom is present in Singapore. But not absolute, total, unconditional freedom. That would be anarchy. Freedom comes with responsibility. And as long as you exercise that responsibility, you get your freedom.

This principle has held the country in good stead ever since independence. And will continue to do so in years to come.

I am excited about the general election. Ever since I was a young boy, my father has brought me to numerous election rallies and I never fail to be entertained, amazed and impressed by the speeches of candidates contesting.

Wah! So interested in politics ah? Are you going to be a politician Chern? No, I am not.
I am just concerned about the issues that surround my country. I am just caring about the quality of the leaders that will carry our society forward. I am just eager to know what direction my country is heading towards in the future.

Every Singaporean should.

Let this be a good election.

An Important Date - 23rd of April

2006-04-23T22:44:00.000+08:00

Dear Little Princess,

23rd of April 2004- The day the 3 magical words were spoken by your highness...

How far we have come since then... It has been a journey full of ups and some downs; full of sweetness and bits of sour taste...

But ultimately, our love has withstood everything in its way... And will continue to do so....

I'm so glad that I have found you... Taught me how to love and the meaning of being loved...

Everything seems alright with the comforting thought of having our love to fall back on... Even the darkest days can be brightened up...

Long may our love be alive and in abundance...

With lots of love,
Your little Prince

A Day of Mourning

2006-04-15T04:51:00.000+08:00

That's it...

Hopes of a much elusive EPL title has all but vanished with the horrid display that the devils put up on Easter Friday. With only lowly Sunderland to beat, Man United made a mess of things with their complacency and half-heartedness.

This is the ultimate nightmare come true for all United fans. What's the use of beating Arsenal when you can't even win relegated Sunderland?!

Passes went astray; Opportunities squandered; Tackles lost; Freekicks wasted; Corners were ineffective... Everything did not go in United's favour. It was sheer frustration for United fans watching... Ronaldo was making a mockery out of himself with his party antics. Rooney left his scoring boots at home and Van Nistelrooy was blocking his team-mates' path to goal. The no. 10 cut a pathetic figure, losing headers; having a poor 1st touch and giving misplaced passes.

Even our dearest Ole Solskjaer couldn't save the day...

Damn it! This is a bloody disappointing way to surrender the title to Chelsea....
What a painful, heart-wrenching night of football... United fans have been brought back down to Earth with 1 big smack...

It's time to mourn, fellow devils....

MAN UTD GunneD DowN the GUNNERS!!

2006-04-10T01:48:00.000+08:00

What a MATCH!!! 2 - Nil to the Devils!! Manchester United is finally back to it's very best!!

Solid Defence; Hardworking Midfield; And a Potent strikeforce...

What more can we ask for! This is the reason why people stay up late and sacrifice precious sleep. In hope of witnessing an edge-of-the-seat football battle that leaves you grasping for more...

What a performance!! What entertainment!! Full of desire, commitment, and PASSION! This is the way Football should be played. Let's hope more of such stuff will come in the last few matches of the season.

Watch your back Chelsea!!

Ethics - What is Your Take on it?

2006-04-06T23:33:00.000+08:00

Ethics... I am sure most of us know the meaning of the word ethical. But when you attempt to make judgements and decisions on what is considered ethical, more often than not you enter into a grey area. Well, at least that's my personal experience.

What the hell?! What is John going about here? Why the sudden interest in this debate of ethics?

Well, once again, you have to thank the MBBS programme in Monash. Yes, other than studying the mechanics of life and the anatomy of the body, we are grilled in the field of ethics as well. As part of the holistic approach of the course, Monash-trained doctors are supposed to be ethical doctors who make sound decisions that are in line with the ethical code of conduct.

Debates in ethics tutorial are often based on hypothetical scenarios. These scenarios are meant to frustrate the hell out of you as there are restrictions placed on what you can or cannot do. Either you do A or you do B. There is no C or any other options for that matter. So if you have a surplus of free time in your hands and really have nothing to occupy your mind with, you may be interested in thinking about these few scenarios that were discussed in my tutorials.

Scenario 1
- You are standing at a Y-junction in the railway track. A train is approaching you. Trapped at 1 junction of the track are 5 people. Trapped at the other junction of the track are 10 people. The train is headed for the junction that is trapped with 10 people. You have the ability to change the direction of the train so that it will travel to the other junction that is trapped with 5 people. You cannot stop the train from approaching. Do you A) switch the direction of travel of the train so that only 5 instead of 10 people will be run over by the train? or B) do nothing and let nature take it's course.

If you switch the train's direction, you may save 10 person's lives. But you have inadvertently participated in the killing of 5 person's lives. If you do nothing and let nature take it's course, you would not have been directly involved in any wrongdoing. Question: Is the act of omission (means no doing anything even if you have the power to do so) any less ethical than doing something that is wrong?

Scenario 2
- A person is in a critical condition with no cure in sight. He has 1 more month to live before doctors predict his ending. He is suffering in pain now and has requested you to take him off his life support system to end his sufferings. The essential fluids in his life support system needs replenishing every week. Without these fluids, the patient will die in a 2 days. Question: Will you A) stop replenishing the fluids or B) take the patient off the life support?
Which is the lesser of 2 evils? Or do you think that there is an ethical option among the 2? If you stop replenishing the fluid, you are not doing anything. An act of omission. If you shut down the life support system, you are killing the patient with your actions. Either way, the patient will eventually die.

Scenario 3
- This is about a pair of evil uncles who are twins. Imagine them in 2 screens side by side, with each screen playing out the same scene but with different proceedings. Evil Uncle A brings his nephew to take a shower in the bathtub. The bathtub is filled with water. The nephew accidentally slips and fall into the bathtub with his head submerged into the water. The nephew drowns. Evil Uncle A could have helped the nephew out but did not as he realised at the spur of the moment that he can inherit the boy's wealth if the boy dies. Now to Evil Uncle B. This time, Evil Uncle B has the intention to drown his nephew to get his wealth from the start. Likewise he brings the boy to take a shower in the bathtub. Evil Uncle B pushes his nephew's head underwater until he is breathless.
Question: Which Uncle is more evil or less ethical? The uncle who watched while his nephew drown right in front of him or the 1 who acted to keep the nephew's head submerged underwater.

What a load of crap! Did I hear you say? Well, I was tempted to think likewise too. Just switch off and wait for time to pass. I'm glad I changed my mind. Thinking about ethics make you question where you get your moral conscience from.

How often have you been stuck in a situation where you either have to face the devil or the deep blue sea? Have you been caught in a grey zone with no clearly better option to take? How do you decide then? Do you act in an imperfect way but 1 that you think is the lesser of 2 evils? Or do you act blur live longer (to borrow the phrase from my buddy) and do nothing at all?

What is evil? And what is not? What is the lesser of the evils? And what is the more evil of the evils? OR are all evils the same as long as they are evil? Are these thoughts worth a moment to ponder over?

I guess in these grey ethical situations, you are not able to sit down in a rational manner and list out all the pros and cons that each evil has and make a decision from there for the reason that the list will be never-ending. There will be an endless what-ifs and arguments and counter arguments. Scenes that are not uncommon in these tutorials.

Well, what do you do then? If you leave it up to me, I think I would do something that I would be able to live with. In other words, to let my moral conscience lead the way. If this conscience says that option A is the better road to take, then let's go down that way. As long as you are able to answer back to your conscience confidently, that's good enough. As long as you can sleep soundly at night without being pricked by this conscience, then that's good enough.

People say that we live in a materialistic world nowadays. In this world, does ethics have a major role to play? Do you let ethics play a major role in your life? Or do you separate the 2? Are you living in harmony with your moral conscience? Or do you even have a moral conscience? Where did you get your moral conscience from? Your religion? Your upbringing? God?

Ethics - What is your take on it?

A Lecture that touched the nerves of a few Singaporeans...

2006-04-06T22:03:00.000+08:00

In the MBBS course that is conducted over here in Monash, you not only get to learn abouth the technical or biological aspects of being a doctor. You are expected to grasp the sociological issues that should concern a doctor as well. So, included as one of the main themes of our course is the Health, Knowledge and Society theme, where you get exposed to all the sociological issues in medicine and healthcare.

What is an equitable healthcare system?
What are the sociological issues that you have to juggle with when you are treating your patient?
How is medicine viewed by different cultures and societies?

Isn't that like GP in JC? You're deadright! In fact, I had a deja vu sense of feeling sitting through the tutorials of this theme. What the hell does sociology has to do with being a doctor?!

Well, that's a very good question. And I don't seem to have a good answer to it. I guess that the people in Australia expect their doctors to be all-rounders. To be competent doctors as well as doctors who are concerned and aware of the issues that are existent in the healthcare system.

Anyway, the lectures for this theme have been mudane, confusing and sleep-inducing. And that's in no small part caused by this well-endowed female lecturer who keeps exceeding her time. She's probably not 1 of the most popular person among the medical students here.

But there was a change of proceedings in the lecture yesterday afternoon. Apparently, a guest speaker was invited to lecture instead of the fat lady. And boy was he a breath of fresh air. For the 1st time, I was wide awake in a lecture. (I think the SAF experience makes you equate lectures with sleep.) This time, the topic in concern was access and the equity of a healthcare system.

The lecturer was interactive and threw up thought-provoking questions to the floor. Instead of going down the ineffective road of just throwing up a huge garbage of technical definitions and content and expect the students to gobble everything up, he gave relevant examples and spoke in simple, easy-to-understand layman terms. His loud booming voice was also a plus factor to throw you out of dreamland.

But what was the most unique point about this guest lecturer was his knowledge of the Malaysia's and Singapore's healthcare system. Apparently, he had studied in Malaysia in his younger days and took a keen interest in the social developments in that part of the world. The lecturer made full use of this experience of his to strike a chord with the large number of Malaysian students in the cohort. Chanting 'Malaysia boleh!' and adding in other sentences of Bahasa Melayu threw the Malaysians into ecstasy.

After charming the Malaysians, the lecturer focused on the Singaporeans. Touching on the topic of equity, the lecturer threw up the example of The Affordable Health Care White Paper that was drawn up by the government in 1993.

He quoted a few sections of the Paper:
' ... even destitute persons who cannot afford to pay should not be deprived of basic health care'
'... but it will not provide the latest and best of everything'
'... the treatment will be delivered without frills.'

The few statements above looks innocuous enough. However, the lecturer chose to highlight certain phrases with a tone of sarcasm, giving a impression filled with cynism.

I could sense a few nerves of my fellow Singaporeans schoolmates being touched.
'What? Are you implying that the system in Singapore is flawed or inferior?'

Next, he went on to question the meaning of no-frills treatment as well as the poor not being able to have the best of everything.

'Is it fair to the poor? Is this an equitable system?'

'And do the Singaporeans have anything to say about this?'

For a second, there was silence.

then...

'Of course it's a fair system. The poor who are ill will still be able to receive decent healthcare services and be cured of their illness. Just that they will not be able to enjoy the cosmetic aspects of these services like air-conditioning and etc.'

A few rings of applause followed.

I was glad and proud that my friend stood up to speak for our country. Even though it may seem a small issue and it was obvious the lecturer was attempting to spur us to put our thinking caps on, it was still immensely satisfying to see a show of patriotism by my friend.

It is when you are away in a foreign land that feelings of patriotism and a sense of belonging to your country emerges. At least for me. Anything to do with the tiny island country that I call home, I will take immense interest in.

Especially after fulfilling 2 years of national service, you sort of think that you have earned the right to proclaim that you are a Singaporean. This feeling is especially strong when you meet young men who have migrated over here from Singapore to avoid having to serve NS and have switched their citizenship. What would life be if I had done the same thing?

Would I be a happier man? I might be in the 3rd year of my degree now instead of wasting 2 bloody years in the army. Would I?

Of course not. I am proud to be a Singaporean. I cherish my right to being a Singaporean. I am proud to have done my part for the country. I am glad that there will always be a place for me to return to.

A place where my friends and family members will be awaiting my arrival when I return. A place where all my childhood memories reside. A place where I spent all my highs and lows in my short span on Earth. A place where I got my education. A place that my roots grew from.

A place that I call home.

What makes you HAPPY?

2006-04-02T21:24:00.000+08:00

What makes you happy? Have you ever wondered? Have you asked yourself this question before? Or does happiness come to you in unexpected bouts of spontaneity? Falling from the sky like raindrops when you least expect it. Or appearing overhead like a rainbow to take your sorrows away.

Is it possible to discover what creates this rainbow? Is it possible to manufacture or create happiness? Would going all out to pursue happiness make me a hippie? Do we live to be happy? Or is happiness just a part of life, like all other emotions?

Are these the things that make you happy? (Not in order of preference or importance)

Love - The ONE thing most of us strive for but only a few lucky ones are able to find success in. The feeling you get when you have someone who loves you and whom you love is certainly a happy one.

Friendship - Nothing beats having a close group of friends that you can confide in and share your dreams, fantasies, failings, joys and passions with. Friends are the soulmates that make the journey of life a much happier one.

Success - This is much more difficult to define. The notion of success is subjective. But each of us would certainly have a concept of what success means to us. Be it in our work, our social life and other personal pursuits. Does being successful means that you have to be really good at something? Does being successful means that you have to be on top of everything? Questions, questions, and more questions... Does success brings happiness?

Family - Something that most of us take for granted. Especially in this era where family ties are increasingly being diluted by other modern-day distractions. Blood runs thicker than water. No matter what happens, you know your family will be there for you. Now, isn't that a happy thought?

Humour - Do we laugh because we are happy? Or do we become happy because we start to laugh? Do we laugh because it is funny? Who defines what is funny and what is not? Is there a funny side to everything? Do we have to laugh at what society allows us to or can we laugh at anything we find funny? Must we let the people around us know what we are laughing at? Or can we laugh to our hearts' content without a care in the world. Whatever it is, having a good laugh would definitely bring in more happiness.

Good Food - Yummy! A good path to happiness is the way through our stomachs. Have you felt happy after having a sumptuous meal? Did you find happiness after tasting some food that you have been craving for a long long time? Somehow, eating brings about happiness in more ways than 1. Are you like me? Do you live to eat as well? Or do you eat your way to happiness?

Money - Does being rich brings you happiness? Does money=happiness? This should be a no-brainer. Much has been debated over this. The correct answer would be: Money does not make the world go round. But it certainly makes people more fond of you. And for everything else, there's always visa.

Music - Do you enjoy listening to songs? Do you feel happy after hearing a really really good piece of music that you can identify with? Or is it the other way round? Do you listen to a happy song just because you feel happy? Or can you feel happy even if you listen to a sad, sentimental song?

Helping Others - Does being altruistic bring about happiness? Does giving others a helping hand and seeing the impact you have on them bring a smile to you? Or is it only about yourself? Me, Myself and I. If you cannot even help yourself, would you be happy helping others?

Thinking about Happiness - Does thinking about what makes you happy make you happy? Are you happier after reading this post? No? I thought so too... My happiness certainly did not increase after writing this. Or maybe you've a different experience?

hmmmm.... Much to ponder about.

Is happiness a big part of your life? If not, do you want it to play a bigger part in your life?

Happiness comes in many forms... There are different types of happiness associated with different situations. There is the adrenalin-pumping happiness when you score a goal and when you're making love. There is the soothing happiness when you're having a nice meal with your loved ones and when you know that there's always your family to turn to inspite of anything. There is the brotherly happiness that you have when you are in the midst of a talk-cock session with your close friends. There is the sense of relief type of happiness when you release your waste into the toilet bowl after keeping it at the edge for an hour. There is that ego-inducing happiness when you emerge top in a competition. There is that satisfaction type of happiness that you get when you achieved something that you have trained very hard for. There is that eureka happiness when you finally find a solution to a problem or when you finally get what you have been studying for the past few hours.

Which type of happiness do you subscribe to? Should we go all out to fight for our happiness, disregarding everything else? Or should we just go about our daily lives, confidently knowing that happiness will befall us anyhow. Or do you desire happiness at all? A sadist perhaps? Wouldn't it be ideal if we were happy all our lives? Happy all our lives?! Would we know what is happiness then? Or do we need some sorrows to help us define and appreciate what happiness is?

Happiness - Are you in need of it?

' Whistle, Whistle, Whistle'

'Don't worry be happy...'

A Year After....

2006-04-02T17:50:00.000+08:00

And so 1 year has passed...

Time always seem so short when you have the benefit of looking back in hindsight. What a huge contrast 1 year makes...

Now: A university student who has no one else except himself and his little princess to worry about.
Then: A fresh YSL who was due to take on the enormous duties his rank delivered upon his shoulders.

I feel much at ease now compared to 1 year ago. Much at ease as I am doing something of my own will. My destiny lies in my hands. Not of some higher-ranking fella who treats me as a mere figure in a sea of data.

But you've to admit that those were exciting times. What people call the times of their lives. As cliched as it sounds, this phrase, I think is exceptionally true - It is not how many breaths we take but the number of breath-taking moments that we have in our lives that matters. Commissioning day was 1 such moment. It was the Grand Finale to 10 months of sweat, blood, tears, frustrations, and endless sacrifices... This was the moment to savour.

Beyond that, it was also a moment to mourn. No longer can Bravo Platoon 3 spend the night together... Talking cock; Conducting 'Exercises'; Preparing OPS order for a mission; Doing area cleaning; Booking out... The joys of living with your buddies were taken away when we passed out.

A new life beckoned for us after so many months of vigorous training. A new life that I was not very keen on.

WingComd: Oct John Lee, 2 SIR, Platoon Commander/ 2IC.
Me: (in my heart) What the F...!

This was the scene on the day when our Wing Comd announced our posting. I was crushed. My worst nightmares came back to haunt me. I was not a big fan of chiong suaing. So giving me a posting that required me to lead people to chiong for another year was like a death sentence.
I kept hoping, against hope, that somewhere, there would be a cock-up and my posting was wrong.

No such miracles materialised and I begrudgingly carried my duffel bag into Amoy Quee Camp a few days after the highs of commissioning. If getting my bars on the parade square was a new high, walking into the old and run-down confines of my new home was definitely a new low. It brought me back to the shit hole with one mega thud.

Now this was the real thing. This is what you have been training for. To lead men out there. To be a platoon commander. Or was it?

I thought I was going to be a Admin Officer? Where is my number 3 uniform? What would happen to the plans I had of doing what I wanted to do after knocking off at 5? What? Somemore outfield? Shit. Reality bites.

I tried to psyche myself up. Watched Band of Brothers and other War Movies. A surge of inspiration would come after each episode but somehow that surge would be over-ride by another surge of depression as you begin to prepare for a 3days2nights mission.

I was thrown into the deep end of the shit hole earlier than my fellow officers from the same BEG cohort. A Platoon Commander from 1 of the rifle companies got himself injured and had to step now. I (for reasons only GOD knows) was chosen to take over his position. At the same time, I got chosen to be the flag bearer for my unit for National Day Parade (Again for reasons only GOD knows). This meant that all my saturdays were burnt. (Less time with my little princess again) And that I couldn't focus on assuming command of my men.

It was a struggle at the start. I felt lost. Really lost. When in the past, I had my platoon mates in Bravo3 to turn to, now I had no-one. There were many balls that I had to juggle. Learning the ropes of how to be a platoon commander (OCS didn't teach us everything unfortunately); Taking over the problems inherent in my platoon from my upper study; Trying to win over the respect and trust of my men and section commanders; Remembering the drills to execute on the Padang; Figure out how to conduct a simple SOC training; Find out what are the dos and don'ts in a rifle company; Sort out what the hell my OC wants from me; How to tread along the lines so as not to end up on the wrong end of politics in the company; And be a good boyfriend to my little princess...

It was not an ideal situation. It seldom is in life, if you think about it. Though there was the urge to complain and moan about stuff, I managed to keep it to myself most of the times. I have the mentality that everybody has their own problems and worries to occupy themselves so what makes you so special that people want to listen to you? Just grind your teeth, roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty. And get the job done. No hussle. No bustle. No hullabaloo. And life goes on...

And so it was... It was not a pretty sight though. Ups and downs there were. As Ronald Keating sings: Life is a rollercoaster and you've got to ride it... Making wrong decisions as a PC; Getting shouted at by OC; Signing extras for mistakes made as a conducting officer; Being let down by some of my men; Worrying about the problems my sect comds had; Struggling through the outfield exercises; And trying to be there when my little princess needed me...

Well, tough as it was, I'm sure some other poor fella would be in a more dire situation than me. So what is there to complain about? If only the brain was that naive.

I was mostly in constant agony. Agonising over having to burn my weekends to conduct live firing; Agonising over waking up in the wee hours in the morning to set off for an exercise; Agonising through the overnight treak before the commence of an assault; Agonising over what actions to take over a man who stepped out of line; Agonising over having to make a decision that I have to, not that I want to; Agonising over disappointing my little princess once again; Agonising over what I have not done and what I should not do as a PC; Agonising over why I chose to go to OCS and be an officer rather than stay as a medic and enjoy a slack life; Agonising over having to miss out on the outings that Bravo3 organised or the football matches that I had to miss...

As week after week of struggling passed, I began to find my footing. Things started to get into a routine. And I got more and more used to my new life. I began to enjoy the company of the people in my unit. Life began to improve. Slowly, my men started to put their trust in me. My little princess still loves me. And things did not seem that bad afterall.

But I still had to book in; Still had to do DO duties; Still had to put on camo; Still had to walk through the night in flies-infested areas... Well, what-to-do? Life is not perfect.

Anyhow, as more weeks passed, I realised that I only had a few more weeks to go before I had to leave for my studies. This fact was made obvious to me with the arrival of my (drumrolls please) much-anticipated understudy! It is during the last few moments that you begin to cherish and appreciate your surroundings more. When you know that you are going to leave the people you have been around with for some time, you begin to look at their positive side more and enjoy their company more. This is the part where you are supposed to get sentimental. It certainly was for me.

So with a strange mixture of sentiments, I set off for my last major exercise with my men. It was going to be a combo of 3 back-to-back missions. Certainly not a walk in the park. I made a few mistakes here and there. And was fucked by my OC and the 3rd Brigade Commander who had the best of luck to be present when my platoon was carrying out the assault for the company in the 1st mission. Cursing my luck, I consoled myself that this was going to be it. The last time. The subsequent missions were much better and our morale improved. As 'EXERCISE CUT' was roared out by my OC, my heart rose in jubilance. No, that would be an understatement. No words can sufficiently relay the joy I felt.

More was to come. There was to be a handing over parade where all the outgoing commanders would hand over to the new commanders. At the end of the parade, the outgoing commanders, including me, stood in front of the whole battalion and received a salute as a tribute to our services. That feeling you get from seeing your men salute you with all their sincerity and respect is the 1 of the most fulfilling. At that point, you think that all the sacrifices you had made was worth the effort. As I went around shaking my men's and sect comdrs' hands, emotions were threatening to get the better of me. These people have been my life for the past 7-8 months. Everything I did had something to do with them; I even had them in my dreams... (no joke!)

And when you see that these people recognise your efforts and respect you for it, the satisfaction and fulfillment you get more than erase all the negative thoughts you once had. Keep in mind that these people were from some of the roughest parts of our society. To be able to get them to listen to you and respect you is not a mean feat. This is what pushed me to become an officer. To be able to be a good leader and make a positive impact on the men under you.

I really hoped that I had made a positive impact on the lives of my men. As much as possible, I hope that their lives will improve after they leave the army and that they will have a better future ahead.

And remember that they once had a platoon commander they called sir john. I know I will always remember their faces. Each and everyone of them.

Happy 1st anniversary to all from BRAVO 3 56/04 OCC!

To lead , To excel, To overcome.

2006-03-14T19:55:00.000+08:00

To all my friends out there who got their pink ICs today...

ORD lo!!! Congratulations! It has been a long journey... Welcome back to the CIVILIAN world! =)

2006-03-12T16:55:00.000+08:00

BRIGHTON BEACH here I come!

Woke up early this morning at 9am to make a trip down to a special beach in MElbourne with KerFern... Brighton Beach! Actually we were supposed to go there last week. But I overslept! (What's NEW?!)

Anyway, here are the pictures that we took... Enjoy! You will know why it's so special afterwards.... =)

@ Huntingdale train station. A Great Way to Fly? Ironic to see the Singapore Girl so far away from home...

Walking along the path from Brighton Beach Train station to the Beach

Destination reached! What's so SPECIAL about it? Same as East Coast Park What?! Patience my friends... Look on...

Putting our feet into the icy cold water...
Heavenly!

Coloured Tents...

A sign of things to come...

Look! Did you see it?! What? No?

I'll bring it closer then... Now, you saw it?! The little coloured huts la! (CHEY!) What you thinking about? Don't you think it gives the beach a special feel to it?....

Bask in the colours........

Apologise if my face ruined the pictures...=P

Lifeguard post...

If you're wondering what the hell are these Aussies doing putting little huts on their beach, let me enlighten you...

The huts are for them to keep their surfboards and swimming suits and chairs and umbrellas and BBQ pits and boats and anything under the sun that they need to enjoy a good day out at the beach. Think each hut is privately owned by some rich fella. Anyway, good idea don't you think? Wonder if we could start this back home? Hmmm.... ECP with little huts? Hmmmm.....

Thirsty seagulls.....

Anyway... got to know about Brighton beach when I saw my friend's pictures... He had some good pics with his girlfriend... Initially thought that Brighton was some ulu place in England... Imagine my surprise when I saw it on the map after I reached MEl!

Hope to bring my little princess here 1 day.....

What a moment that will be......

One last picture ... Enjoy!

2006-03-11T21:20:00.000+08:00

"HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY WEI WEI!"

Wei Wei bu yao pa,
Ni si hao wa wa...
Zi ji tie dao,
Zi ji pa...
Ni kan shan shang,
Wei ni kai man hong hua!
Ni si hao wa wa,
Yao zi ji tie dao,
Zi ji pa!

2006-03-11T19:37:00.000+08:00

Stuff I wanted to Pick Up......................................

I just finished talking cock with the bunch of Singaporean friends that are doing medicine over here when 1 of them decided to enter a music room (they have rooms in the hostel for people to practise their musical talent) and commenced to conjure a little magic from the combination of his nimble fingers and the keys on the piano in the room... Was so attracted to the sweet sound of the musical notes that I stood rooted there... Just listening to him play was so soothing to the mind. Totally enchanting... Music therapy as some people call it?

Anyone, seeing the unbelievable talent that my pianist friend possessed reminded me of the many flings I had with new stuff that I wanted to try out and hopefully master during my time as a Sai Kang Warrior in the school of medics...

First and foremost, I wanted to master the art of playing a violin... Unfortunately, the timing of the violin lessons just kept clashing with my sunday football sessions. Guess which activity took priority in the end? haha... It's hard to push away your 1st love...

Next, I spent a fortune getting a place in the Comfort Driving School... Took and passed all the theory tests (both basic & advanced) before completing about 12 practical lessons. Was doing well until I got itchy fingers and decided to take up the challenge of going to OCS... Stopped all driving lessons after that. It's been >1 year since then. Guess all the money spent is all down the drain... Haiz...

Following that, my itchy brain cells encouraged me to pick up a new language... So away I went, buying teach-yourself books about the Vietnamese language and grammar books about Bahasa Melayu... Guess what happened in the end? Yup, they were safely tucked away in 1 corner of my bunk and now my room, gathering dusk and still in their prime untouched condition.

Haiz... Don't know why I'm so fickle-minded? 1 moment hot, 1 moment cold... What if I had not gone to OCS? Would I have mastered all these skills? Hmmm, God knows? I wonder if it's still possible to fulfill all these desires that I once had.... Whether it's possible that someday, somehow, I can play a proper song on a violin. (stop laughing people! Miracles DO happen...) How I wished I had continue piano lessons when I was in primary school.... (I kept oversleeping when it was time for lessons until my teacher had to call my mum up to call me to wake up and go for lessons... Guess my fingers are 2 short and chubby to master the piano) Whether it's possible that I can someday drive my little princess to anywhere she dreams of going? Whether it's possible that someday somehow I can converse fluently in Vietnamese with my little princess's parents? Or speak in Bahasa Melayu with the Mee Rebus Auntie? (Sedap sia!)

Well... God knows! Hopefully He's saying... That's a positive over...

(Better get down to some serious work Chern! Stop day-dreaming!)

when can I learn to read these notes?

2006-03-10T23:50:00.000+08:00

The Boy & His Little Princess.... Continued....

And so without noticing it, the college examinations ended as soon as it had started. With the burden of his studies behind him, the boy began to plan for his holidays before he enlisted to serve his nation. The boy wanted to have as much fun as he could have before the sufferings in the army began.

He was to find more than he had set out for...

With the bi-annual Regional games being held in the capital of the little princess's country - the Land of Pho, the boy conjured up a brilliant idea - he would include a stop-over at the little princess's country to have a little bit of fun. A little bit of pure innocent fun.

At the same time, the boy would have an opportunity to catch a glimpse of the Regional games.

The boy's holiday programme started off Down Under where he went travelling with a group of secondary school friends.

Next stop - the Land of Pho. With the company of his good buddy, ED, the boy boarded the plane.

The boy stayed over at the little princess's house. It was killing two birds with 1 stone. The boy could save some money and experience the local way of life as well.
The trip started off on a good note. The boy felt good upon seeing his little princess. It had been a long time since they met. The little princess having returned to her kingdom with the end of the examinations.

The little princess was an excellent host. She allowed the boy and ED the luxury of staying in her room while she moved into her parents' room. The little princess helped her parents with the cooking and the food was excellent. The boy's stomach was given a royal treatment.

As the days passed, the boy grew more and more attracted to his little princess... The magic in her began to glow. She seemed so much more bubbly, carefree and attractive in her homeland... The boy felt a certain sense of attachment towards his little princess. It was unexplainable...

Midway through the boy's stay in the Land of Pho, the little princess decided to make a trip to the capital to visit one of her friends who stayed there. The journey to the capital lasted a few good hours... Along the way, the boy and his little princess made use of the opportunity to have a good talk among themselves.

The 2 of them enjoyed the conversation that they had. But more was yet to come.

After a long day in the capital, the trio of the boy, his little princess and ED tiredly made their way back to the little princess's province. The trip back proved to be a heart-to-heart encounter between the boy and his little princess.

They exchanged childhood stories, thoughts and emotions that they developed in the short span of their lives and the dreams that they hoped to achieve in the long future ahead... The 2 spoke freely, oblivious to the presence of the driver and ED, who was snoring away at the front seat. There was a certain magical feeling in the air. The boy's heart pumped hard, harder than usual. What was this that the boy was experiencing? It came without warning, without any planning, without any intentions... There was no logical, rational explanation to it...

It was in the thick midst of this close encounter that cleared the longsightedness that the boy long had.
'Why hadn't I notice this wonderful little girl before? Is she the one who would fit into the pair of glass slippers? Does she have the key to unlock the door to my heart?' The boy wondered out loud in his mind.

The boy had found his little princess at long last.

2006-03-10T20:41:00.000+08:00

GROCERY SHOPPING

(my arsenal of groceries)

A new part of my life in this foreign land is grocery shopping. Back home, there was no need for this as mum used to take care of my needs in this area. Even if I needed anything when I went hungry or ran out of toothpaste, the nearest Cheers or 7-11 stall would be just a bicycle ride away.

There is no such convenience over here. Although there is a COLES supermarket (like our good old NTUC) that is open 24/7, it is like a 30min walk away. And the idea of walking for 30min in the whee hours of the night in the freezing cold and then lugging all the groceries back for another good 30min with the likelihood of being mugged or stabbed by some drunk idiots (there has been a recent spat of fatal stabbing incidents in Melbourne. 11 cases in the past week!) isn't very tempting.

So like a dutiful househusband, I make my weekly grocery shopping trips to anyone of the shopping areas that are within walking distance of my hostel during the weekends. (or hall of residence as they term it here). The public transport fees here is quite expensive. ($2.40 for a Met Card that is valid for 2hours = to an EZ link card but it's only valid for 2hrs. So if you exceed the timing, you have to get another 1. A Met Card that is valid for a day would cost around $4+) So if I wanted to take my own sweet time to shop around, there is a danger that I might need to get another 2hr MetCard. That's = $4.80 for transport fees = 01 X good meal = not a very good idea! So what to do? Walk lor! Lucky SAF provided me with lots of training in walking. No distance seems too far to cover and no weight seems too heavy to bear. (though the shopping bags can be quite a pain in the ass at times)

Anyway, the variety of groceries available here are extremely extensive. You can get all the Asian groceries from the Asian grocery shops opened by the entrepreneurial Hong Kongers who probably migrated here for a better living. (and looking at the long snaking queues in the stall, they seemed to be doing quite well) Indo Mee, Oyster sauce, Xiao Bai Cai, Chicken Rice Chilli, Melon seeds or Gua ji, Yeo's Packet Drink, Curry Sauce... And the list goes on. The range of stuff there never ceases to amaze me. There are so many options available that you don't know what to get . In the end, I always end up with nothing! You want to have everything but you can't cause it will just tear your budget up. Just can't make up my mind... So what to do?
Head down to the COLES supermarket behind lor! And get my weekly dosage of cereals and milk and fruit juice and biscuits and baked beans and campbell soup... (trying to be healthy and thrifty at the same time)

The choosing and buying of stuff is the fun part. The tough part is the journey back to hostel. Endure! Endure! Endure! That's where the tough training in SAF comes into play. 24km route marches with FBO really help you to last the distance back! Just that you can't break into an army song to take your mind off the physical torture. (Siao ah?!) It's ironic how often we link stuff in army to our normal civilian lives now. When you were in the service, you spent so much time thinking of getting out; Thinking of all the things you could be doing in a CV attire. But when you finally get out of the service, you just can't stop reminiscing about the times you had in SAF. Well, guess humans are wierd creatures...

So much for army talk... Today was a short day for most of the Singaporeans over here. We finished school at 1pm! Woo Hoo! How slack is that?! So the group of us decided to do our shopping early on a friday. Walked to a place called Clayton Shopping Centre where the Asian Grocery Shop is. Takes about 30min.

Then a few brave souls decided to make the long walk back.

Glad I survived... =)

Take a look at the stuff I got!

Miso Soup! More soup! and Wholemeal biscuits!

Fruits galore! Apples and Bananas!

Nestum Cereals! Snacks! Peanuts from Thailand! LOVED this back home...

2006-03-07T21:31:00.000+08:00

Mc Lucky FC

Well, what can I say about this little, cosy, chapalang football team that was created out of the blue by a bunch of innocent Marist brothers who just wanted to play football.

The first question that comes to everyone must be - How the hell did the name come about? Hmmm, actually that's a very good question. Just that I don't really have a good answer to that question. The origins of the name of this team is somewhat dubious. The founders of the team were frantically trying to organise themselves for what would be their first forray into competitve football.

One of the founding brothers, a certain Andy Kong who rose to fame for his ability to dribble the ball to the far corners of the pitch (in a Diouf-like style) to gain a corner kick as well as his knack of scoring goals from his heroic slides, discovered that a football competition was to be held in Sentosa. Andy had an easy time convincing the rest of the Marist brothers to sign up for the competition. So on 1 sunny sunday, the whole gin gang met at world trade centre to sign up for the competition.

The Marist Brothers thought that they had everything they needed. But wait a minute, they did not actually have a name for their team. So the brothers made their way to the nearest McDonalds where they started to engage in an animated discussion. Many names were thrown into the ring. I really cannot remember what the hell those names were now. They were that crappy. Not to say that the final name wasn't crappy. Just that it was the least crappy of the lot.

Anyway, names after names came and went. But none received a unanimous agreement from the brothers. Out of the blue, a certain smart Alec, affected by scenes of people munching on their delicious Mc Chicken, Big Mc, Mc Nuggets, and god-knows-wat Mcs and slurping on their Mc FLurry, threw out an extremely dubious and absolutely crappy name - Mc Lucky Football Club.

And surprise surprise, no one had any violent objections to the bloody dubious name. Perhaps everyone was just exhausted by the discussion and wanted to get it over and done with.

Mc was added to the name just because the Marist Brothers happened to be in a bloody MacDonalds restaurant. And Lucky was added in to add an element of luck to the team. Since the Marist Brothers were not really blessed with Ronaldo-like skills or Steven Gerrad-like tenacity, they reckon that a little bit of luck wouldn't do any harm. The smart Alec was pleased with himself.

And so it happened. Our captain- the legendary Ong Wei De put pen to paper- Mc Lucky Football Club.

A chapalang team was born.

2006-03-07T19:49:00.000+08:00

The Boy and His Little Princess

this is the story of the boy who met his little princess and fell in love with her pair of big sparkling eyes...

It all started in college where the boy was studying to find his place in the adult world. It was there that he met his little princess who had been sent by her country to explore the boundaries of this vast earth. This was not a love-at-first-sight story. The boy was distracted by other members of the opposite gender. He was ignorant of the magic within the little princess who stood right in front of him.

Through out the 2 years in college, the boy searched in vain for his beloved one. One after another, the girls came and left. No one seemed to be able to fit into the pair of glass shoes that the boy had in his mind. The boy was disheartened. Where is the girl who had the key to unlock his heart?

The little princess observed as the boy rode to fame on a string of fortunate events. She had feelings for the boy. She cherished the friendship with the boy. But she was unsure. Would this friendship develop into something deeper?

Days flew by as the fast pace of life in college consumed all who were in it. Soon, the end of college years was nearing for both the boy and his little princess.

The little princess felt funny.

She liked the boy in a special way. It was an innocent kind of liking.

2006-03-05T20:18:00.000+08:00

And so it BEGINs..............

hmmm... this is wierd... never ever thought of starting a blog myself. never even had the habit of keeping a diary before. So this is completely foreign territory for me...

guess I just have too much free time on my own now... No groups of friends to hang out with... No ngo hiang to keep me company... No family members to get together with... Life just seems so empty and aimless now...

Perhaps I can try to organise my thoughts and share it with my love ones? At least it sounds better than surfing the internet, not knowing which website to go to and having to revisit friendster for the god-knows-how-manyth time in 1 day...

Hmmm... Let me stop and assess what I am missing now....

No more timetable to follow the whole day through. No instructor to bark orders down your throat. No men coming to you because of some issue. No OC shooting arrows in your direction. No buddy giving you a call to jio you out for fun...

A lot of things have been removed from my life. I guess I still need some time to adjust to this foreign land far far away from home......

Now... Let me see what I have to do...

A lot of new friends to get to know = A lot of socialising to be done... (But somehow I'm just sick & tired of going through the socialising motions. I guess I'm more than happy with my current group of friends back home. I feel like these people will become my lifelong friends...) A lot of new habits to pick up, eg: picking up books again; picking up the ability to speak without adding any hokkien expletives into a sentence; picking up the ability to speak without ending my sentence with a la or a lor; picking up the ability to speak up during lessons for the sake of speaking up; picking up the ability to tune my ears to the funny Aussie accent that is now ubiquitous; picking up the habit of doing my own laundry; picking up the habit of NOT ordering every other thing in the menu...

Hmmm... That looks like a looooong list of stuff to accomplish... Am I up to the task?
God knows....

Only time will tell... So many aspirations... So many hopes to fulfill... So many expectations to live up to... So many stigmas to live with... So many hurdles to overcome...

Guess that's life... Just suck it up... Grind your teeth and....
SMILE =)

Yup! Boy are you glad to be ALIVE?

Nope...? Hah! I thought so too....