Friday, August 24, 2007

22 and Counting...

So... I turned 22 early this month... It all seems so surreal... It feels that a chapter of your life has just ended. The days of merry-making and careless laughter... The times where you only have yourself to take care of and the option of your parents bailing you out of any trouble you get yourself into... I'm afraid these days would have to be put aside now...

The longer we exist on this earth, the heavier the load we carry on our shoulders. With age comes responsibility... If you screw things up, no one to blame but yourself. Freedom comes with a price my friend... It feels harder to do things based on passion nowadays... Follow your heart, let it tell you where to go and what to do... That used to be second nature...

Now, thoughts come with strings attached to them. Do this? What would the consequences? What would this person feel or that person think? Will doing this affect my grades? This is too risky, I have to take care of my health... You are a medical student, surely you know this's harmful to you?! What about finances? Who's gonna give you the bloody cash? No ones going to print money for you to burn mate. The older you grow, the wiser you get? Hmmm, the older you grow, the worrier you get sounds more realistic.

Why do we grow more cautious the older we get? Sounds like a stupid question I hear you say... Well, I don't know the answer my friends. Seems like more is at stake now than when we were younger. No room for mistakes mate. One wrong move, one step out of line and you're done for it. The higher we climb the harder we fall I suppose. So we climb cautiously... But can we see where we are climbing to and what we are climbing for?

Friends, especially, female ones have entered the workforce. Unbelieveable. It was only yesterday that they were dressed in prim and proper school dresses. Now, corporate demands and image rule the way they dress. Comfy sports shoes replaced with pointy high heels. In a few more years, it will come to the guys' turn.

Things change when people go to work. Everything seems to be geared towards work... Sleep late? Cannot, got work tomorrow. Play football on sat? Cannot, got to do OT. Come out for dinner on a weekday night? Cannot, got a report to prepare. People run on a tight, organised schedule when they join the workforce. Why is it like this? I don't know, I guess it's just the way things are in the working world. And when you enter, you either conform or be condemed. Are humans meant to live like this?

Rats you say? Running in the rat race? What are the prizes at the end of the race? A pat on the back by the boss? A hefty pay rise? An irresitible promotion? How much do you care about all this?

Thoughts.... They change like the number of candles you place on your birthday cake. The growing number of candles brighten up the room but they also show the vast corners of darkness in existence. Cynism grows on you in tandem with maturity. Optimism gives way to caution then to persimmism and reluctant acceptance and conforming to the status quo.
Play, fun, laughter.... These used to fill our time and our hearts, our minds, our souls. Work, money, sleep... These now seem to be a constant worry at the foremost and backmost of our minds, taking away our souls, dampening our minds and occupying all of our time.

What does the future holds then? Succumb to this relentless torrent of pressure to conform and further entrench the status quo? Join in the long, cold and numbing climb to the top that never seem to be in sight?

Don't, my friends... Say no to this temptation to join in the production line of robots that is being churned out endlessly. Set your own path. Remember the days when you were younger and saw the world through untinted glasses? What happened to them? It's time to wipe away the dust and dirt that has accumulated on our glasses with time.

It seems funny that the older we grow, the more we tend to look back at our past and reminisce about the good old days. Is the future that bleak that we have to look for comforts from the past? Hmmm, I don't know again but I'm sure guilty of this habit as well.

What are the things you look forward to nowadays? Do they outnumber the things you dread waking up to? Or are they being outnumbered? Do you wake up with a sigh or with an eager anticipation for the day to start?

Questions. Thoughts. Actions?